Boredom, Espana, Weird talking toddlers.

Recently i've been pretty damn bored. Don't get me wrong, i love that school's over, and i hate the fact that on monday, i'm going to Espana for four weeks, but i still have nothing to do. My mother complains that we don't go to Espana for long enough, and i'm the only reason we don't go four five weeks. I reason that in Espana i get lonely, and bored. She argues back that when i am here, i don't have anything to do, so i may as well be bored in the SUN. I still disagree. I can't explain it, but there's something about being at home. Just the feeling. Yes, the weather is costantly awful in sunny 'ol Wales, and yes, most of the time i'm sitting at home doing nothing, but still, to me, it's my holiday.

As you can imagine, with so much time on my hands, my mind tends to wander... For instance, i sit down, with the intention of letting my mind rest, but my mind doesn't seem capable of doing that. I end up thinking about the most bizzare things, the first that comes to mind would be the rugrats. Don't judge me ! Also, the same thing tends to happen when i'm writing, and whatever i wanted to say in the first place is forgotten. But, i guess i kind of like it that way.

New Start

I've been keeping a blog for close to two years now, but i finally decided to start a new one. Start a fresh. A lot has changed since i started that blog. I've changed. So i figured the blog should change as well. For those reading, my name is Jodie and i'm 15. I'm British. That's all you need to know really. I've never told anybody that i know that i keep a blog. To me, there's no reason for them to know. Blogging is something i've always done when there's too much on my mind, and when i don't feel like i can tell anybody else. Hence the reason why i always call my blogs pensieves. Harry Potter people, you'll know what that means. If you do know me personally, then, i guess you caught me.

I find confiding in people ... difficult. I don't know whether it's because i have a fear of putting my trust in too many people, or whatever. The fact is, i tend to keep things bottled up. Which is where the blog comes in.

Five Things Most People Don't Know About Me;

• I'm a serial self-doubter. I have no self esteem, and nothing i do ever seems to be enough.
• I hate the way i look. Not in the way that i don't like one particular thing about myself. I just really ...don't like myself, at all. I can't help it, and sometimes it really gets me down.
• I love to write. I write all the time, i'm constantly writing stories, blogs, lyrics...
• I really hate disappointing people.
• I'm terrified of somebody i know dying. Terrified. There's nothing that scares me more.

It feels weird, starting a new blog. Once i've finished writing this i'm going to delete the old one. I don't want somebody finding it.